No Choice but Forgiveness.

Up until today, I was completely

over it.

I mean, at least to the point where I wasn't thinking about it. I could put it out of my mind and be okay. I walked through life like things were fine and I came out without a pinch, but I guess really I'm just a good

f a k e r.

Everyone I knew told me that karma will come around and for about the first month or so I waited for that sweet revenge to fall upon her. I checked and rechecked to make sure her status on facebook were filled with sadness and hopelessness; I wanted her to feel as bad as she made me feel. I wanted her to suffer the way she made me suffer; how she made my daughter suffer. I was hurt.

It didn't take too long for me to get out of that rut though, its really an awful way to live. I heard somewhere once that although the wrong-doer is at fault, they live their life merry and carry on as though nothing has ever happened and you waste a lot of precious time holding on so tight to grudges and bad feelings. The best thing to do is forgive them and

m

o

v

e

o

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albeit thats not always an easy thing to do. For me though,

Im not deeply emotional or sentimental but I am a sucker for an appology. If someone says their sorry and they mean it I'm sold. (especially if there is some sort of explanation). But thats the thing, there was NO apology. Nothing. No words. She had messaged me a few times but would never apologize. Ever. I finally was able to get over it enough to move on with my life. I got married, moved to California with my husband and got started on our life together. Its been really fun. It has. But today I feel the hurt feeling crept back. I don't know why today, and I couldn't tell you why I decided to blog about it but I guess I just feel jaded.

She was my best friend. All I ever wanted was an apology. I never got one, I don't know if I ever will get one.

She may never know; She may not care. But I forgive her, its taken a lot of thinking for me to come to that point but i do. I hope she knows this.